August 2009
5 posts
How to Talk to Town-Hall Crazy →
(via TPF)
I had a dream last night where instead of playing Fantasy Baseball, I was playing Fantasy Visiting Family for the Holidays. Points were accrued every time someone asked me when I was going to get married, or finish school, or get a real job, or how many glasses of wine I had, or if I really wanted to eat that second slice of cake.
I might be onto something here.
“Dominoes has all these new pizza bowls now. I just can’t keep up with...”
– Joe
July 2009
19 posts
Best of Craigslist: A Few Things from the Bike... →
I don’t know how I missed this one from back in May, but it’s hilarious.
“Did you know that now, thanks to iPhone, you can use location services to tell...”
– The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: Food for thought (via hellofriend) (via wintercheck)
Summer Doldroms
THIS JUST IN:
“Hello All, A casualty of the move: we have a missing lamp! It is a roughly 4-foot-tall black-and-chrome floor lamp with a 2-foot-wide horizontal circular metal shade on a swing arm. Can you let me know if this was accidentally placed in your office? Thanks.”
The English Department upgraded to a fancy new building this summer, so we can expect many more “Hello...
Grocery Store Perils
I am a notoriously bad grocery shopper. I break all the cardinal rules: I go when I’m hungry, I always forget to make a list, I never clip coupons… I buy food, but rarely items that could be easily combined into a recognizeable meal, per se. My father, who could probably go semi-pro in grocery shopping with his careful planning and alphabetized coupon folder, would be horrified to...
Watch“Will there be any provisions made for game days during football season?” “Yes, the girlfriends love football, and they can make snacks and dips and cookies for all the guys. It’ll be fun.”
Funny video (no pressure, sweetie!).
Indoor Cycling Mix Mania
Here is the indoor cycling playlist that I will be using for tomorrow morning’s endurance class:
1. Fatboy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank 2. Justin Timberlake - Summer Love 3. Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk 4. Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds 5. Metallica - Enter Sandman 6. Fallout Boy - America’s Suitehearts 7. Black Eyed Peas - Pump It 8. The Crystal Method -...
The Marriage You Save Might Be Your Own →
I don’t even like Keith Olbermann and his stupid too-small-for-his-gigantic face designer glasses, but I have to agree when he says, “Jenny Stanford, you are the worst person in the world.” And to think, with all this media frenzy over South Carolina Governor Stanford’s delicious hypocrisy where the sanctity of marriage is concerned, I actually felt that Mrs. Stanford was...
June 2009
18 posts
Dairy Godmother + Obamas
I took Harvey to Alexandria this afternoon to meet up with my friend Sarah and her husband Desh at a frozen custard place called Dairy Godmother. They have special dog ice cream, which Harvey loved! As Desh and I were standing in line, several men in suits and earpieces entered the store, followed by miliary police in full body armor. As we exited with our custards, in walked President Obama...
J&K+8
“Jon and Kate have a life-changing announcement. Tune in for the one-hour special, Monday, June 22 @ 9/8c,” says TLC’s website, but the video clip doesn’t seem to be working (I’m guessing it’s overloaded?).
Look, I don’t even watch “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” but somehow the ins and outs of this show have seeped into the collective conciousness...
Comments Written by Actual Students Extracted from... →
Next semester I’m teaching an intro creative writing workshop and I can’t wait. It’s going to be JUST LIKE THIS.
ofthegarden:
I get that the music at the gym is there to motivate you and everything but really? Jock Jams? It almost makes me miss Lady Gaga.
I’m going to play some Roisin Murphy tomorrow in my spin class just for you, SKD.
File Under: People You Don't Want to Start a Feud...
Confession: I follow Lance Amstrong on Twitter. His “tweets” (in quotes because I recognize the stupidity of Twitter’s lexicon) are hilariously self-aggrandizing and/or self-advertizing. He adds “-strong” to the end of everyone’s name. He created a Twitter account to announce the arrival of his newborn son. He tweets after race stages, saying things like...
Flying Bike Shirt →
Say hello to my awesome new shirt.
WatchZack Morris as Mark-Paul Gosselaar!
So Many Questions
I received an email today from a friend in the MFA department. We also went to high school together, back when he had long hair and I had short hair, though it’s probably best that we don’t really remember each other too well from those days. Anyway. Here’s the email:
So my boss here is looking for attractive people to do some modeling. I think it pays 250.00 an hour. ...
Conan: In the Year 3000 →
“YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge to form one super-time-wasting website called ‘YouTwitFace.’”
BallDroppings →
I’m not sure if the URL does this site justice. Pretty neat to play with, though.
May 2009
13 posts
The Shape of Things to Come
You know that magical feeling when you read a book at the EXACT right time in your life? That’s what’s happening to me at this moment, with Maud Casey’s The Shape of Things to Come. Confession: Maud is my MFA professor, so nah nah nah boo boo, I get to work with her in thesis hours next semester. Regardless of personal bias, this book is beautiful and heart-breaking and...
1 tag
La la La la La →
My love for Selah Saterstrom (author of The Meat and Spirit Plan and The Pink Institution) grows ever more deeply.
“If this book had pictures, it would be great toilet reading.”
– Skippy the Fish on David Markson’s “This Is Not a Novel.” I’m going to miss 789 a tiny little bit, if only for the quotability factor.